so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
