have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
