So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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