so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
