I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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