you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
