never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
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I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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