The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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