its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
