we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
