I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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