She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish i was in the wii world.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize