I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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