Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.

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(906): View more from Michigan

I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.

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(903): View more from Texas

I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.

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