The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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