He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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