You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
