i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
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I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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