Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
