Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
