The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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