Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
