i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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