$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
why is half of my head shaved?
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