she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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