i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
