Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
