wanna go halves on a baby?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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