Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
