I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
