it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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