Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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