yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
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