That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
