I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
