if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
