Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter

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(314): View more from Missouri

i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit

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(513): View more from Ohio

I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair

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(530): View more from California

I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.

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(954): View more from Florida

It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.

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(315): View more from New York

i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?

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(765): View more from Indiana

I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire

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