8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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