White coat. Heels.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
