playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
