just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
