I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
