New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
