He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize