definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
