he wants to bone in the snuggie
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
