Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
