I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
