Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
