and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
