Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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