My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
