i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
