I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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