a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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