The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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