I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We named our party play list daddy issues
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16