Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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