In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Bring me that man meat
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
