wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
